"As founder and guiding teacher of the Community Meditation Center in New York, Allan Lokos has an arsenal of tools for coping with stressful situations."
The New York Times
"I have just finished reading Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living, by Allan Lokos, the founder and guiding teacher of the Community Meditation Center in New York City. It's a timely read for a season in which the stresses seem to multiply in direct proportion to the peace and joy we're supposed to be feeling—and too often, don't!
In many ways, the book is a very readable course in Buddhism 101, a primer in Buddhist thought and practice for those who will value the introduction; it is also an important refresher course for those of us who have been practicing for a while—and who recognize that it's still, and always, about "beginner's mind." Patience is at the very heart of Buddhist practice: without it the noble Eightfold Path would be impracticable for even the most ardent of its followers. A wise and, yes, patient guide, Lokos leads his readers through the benefits of patience with, first, ourselves and then with others in our personal and professional relationships. He offers the inspiration of notable exemplars, and includes not only the words of wisdom of great teachers in the Buddhist tradition, but also simple, do-able exercises and practices to help us along the way.
Patience is a thoughtful and always interesting book, and one that engages our attention. It challenges many of the assumptions and misconceptions we have about ourselves and the world we live in, reminding us that there is always another side to every view. It invites us to do the hard work of continuous mindfulness, and offers us the means to find release from self-inflicted (and other-inflicted) pain. As its subtitle and its final chapter suggest, "peaceful living" is indeed an "art" that can be learned through mindful practice—a valuable lesson to all who seek surcease from the stress we bring, often unconsciously, upon ourselves. As The Beatles sang, memorably, many years ago, "we all want to change the world." Patience would be a terrific place to start—not to mention an excellent New Year's resolution!"
—The Huffington Post
The Atlanta Journal Constitution chose Patience as one of six books recommended for 2012.
"Many people may consider patience nothing more than an old-fashioned virtue of little value in today's world. Those individuals would probably gain the most from reading this book, which makes a strong case for patience as a building block for inner peace. Lokos, a Buddhist teacher and practitioner, refers to studies indicating that intelligence alone cannot bring success and that children who fail to develop patience and self-control are more likely as adults to commit crimes, struggle with addictions, and earn low incomes. Even more convincing are his statements about how a lack of patience fuels anger, which can be devastating to relationships and lives overall. Along with suggesting exercises and meditation practices for cultivating mindfulness and patience, Lokos offers testimonials from individuals who have enhanced their lives by learning patience. His laugh-out-loud chapter on raising children is a treasure. A great deal of the world's problems could be solved by taking Lokos' advice."
—Booklist
"It takes patience to develop patience," Allan Lokos says in this thought-provoking book on a virtue that has gotten short-shrift in our speed-oriented society. Lokos taps into his many experiences as a Buddhist practitioner and a spiritual teacher as he explores the relationship between anger and patience. The cultivation of patience is not an easy task given the bad habits we have established based on ego and illusion.
In a section devoted to establishing patience with ourselves, Lokos presents meditation as a worthwhile vehicle for change. In a chapter on relationships, he writes about the importance of skillful speech and listening closely to what other people say when they are in your company. At work we are called upon to not give in to our feelings of anger at co-workers or bosses. Lokos turns to Shantideva, a great Buddhist sage, for counsel on a cluster of issues related to the "mental misery" we bring on ourselves by impatience or giving in to the foolishness of anger. We agree that patience for many people must become a way of life and not just a virtue or an occasional practice. The end result of commitment to moving beyond impatience is a life animated by peace, wisdom, and compassion.
—Spirituality and Practice
"This book, both practical and profound, is a wonderful demonstration of just how to bring patience and a new way of being right into our daily lives. It is filled with insight, warmth, and compassion."
—Sharon Salzberg, author of Real Happiness and Lovingkindness
"Allan Lokos has a depth of experience that is woven throughout this fine book. He reaches with both mind and heart into the nature of patience. As Lewis and Clark mapped our way into the timeless beauty of the Northwest, Lokos is a very wise and human guide who breaks trail into the country of patience, marking all the sacred sites along the way and honoring all the sacred guides who have come before."
—Mark Nepo, author of The Book of Awakening and As Far As the Heart Can See
"Down-to-earth, full of ways to become more patient in challenging situations at home and at work, this book helps you develop one of the most important of all virtues for fast-paced, stressful, and often frustrating life today."
—Rick Hanson, Ph.D., author of Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom
"Patience is an exquisite gift, a healing sanctuary, a balm for the soul. Allan Lokos gently guides us through the dark wood of the frantic, fearful reactivity that grows and festers in our too-hurried lives, negotiating safe passage through a world gone mad with impossible speed and inhuman expectations. He invites us to explore the root causes of our own impatience, offering simple tools as reliable practices for cultivating contentment, ease, and genuine peace.
Make no mistake, Allan is no Pollyanna; he bravely lifts up the undeniably fierce, ugly consequences of our anger, violence, and impatient harming of ourselves and others, while confidently promising that these characteristics—too conveniently dismissed as "human nature"—can in fact be skillfully transformed into authentic strength, wisdom, courage, and inspiring leadership. Allan Lokos has offered us a precious jewel, a path to freedom, a fragrance of grace, for which we may all feel deeply and humbly grateful."
—Wayne Muller, author of Legacy of the Heart and A Life of Being, Having, and Doing Enough
"In this gem of a book Allan Lokos invites us to attend to and practice what is perhaps the most overlooked of all spiritual qualities. Patience is an important read for everyone."
—Andrew Olendzki, Ph.D., Senior Scholar, Barre Center for Buddhist Studies, author of Unlimiting Mind
"Allan Lokos has written an essential and profound book that can change your life. Spiritual growth is not like fast food. It takes time for its roots to grow and that requires us to be receptive and patient. Patience delves into its vital subject with wisdom and compassion and offers us a path to our own higher self. Understanding the challenges of our hurried and harried world, Lokos has written a remarkable and practical guide to becoming a truly patient and spiritually effective person."
—Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, author of Jewish with Feeling and All Breathing Life Adores Your Name
"Drawing on Buddhist teachings and his own deep wisdom, Allan Lokos reminds us of the peace and freedom that is possible when we cultivate genuine patience. The stories and exercises give practical guidance in coming home to an openhearted presence in the midst of difficulty. This book is a compelling and beautiful invitation to pause and arrive fully in our life."
—Tara Brach, Ph.D. Author of Radical Acceptance
"Even if you consider yourself the most patient person in the world you might want to put the book, Patience, The Art of Peaceful Living by Allan Lokos on your "must read" list for January. Allan Lokos takes the reader on a journey toward joy and fulfillment as he describes the benefits of introducing patience into our lives. He embraces life in the twenty-first century with all of its changes, joys and disappointments while providing ideas to help us develop habits of internal calm. One of my favorite quotes from the book is, "When we teach a child to be truthful we offer them the gift of an ethical life. When we teach a child to take responsibility for their actions we offer them the gift of an honorable life. When we teach a child patience we offer them the gift of a dignified life." This quote seems particularly meaningful for retirees disgruntled with their lives because they feel they've been kicked out of the office, no longer have a purpose or have been passed over by the younger generation. Whether we are teaching a grandchild, a neighbor child or our own child within, patience offers the dignity we desire, in our retired years or at any point in our lives.I think you'll enjoy this book. It's possibly the best gift you'll give yourself all year."
—Nora Hall, Survive your husbands retirement.com
email: allan@patiencebook.com
